The board · Australia
BDSM contacts in Sydney
Sydney has a radius the harbour makes a liar of. Ten kilometres on the map can be fifty minutes in practice, so people give their side of the water early and mean it. Rent pushes the pool further out than anybody would choose. The calendar is inverted, so the queue empties over the summer holidays at the start of the year, and posts written in November assume you already know that.
Posts come from the inner west, the eastern suburbs, the north shore, the inner city and the west. On an app that is a radius setting. Here people say it in words.
Dominant in Sydney
Leading, and saying in the post what that actually means to them.
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I am fifty seven and there is not one good photograph of me anywhere
Looking for: somebody who reads the writing before they look at the picture
Twenty years, three dynamics, the longest eleven.
Every photograph of me was taken by somebody else, at a family occasion, with my eyes half shut. I do not photograph myself and I am not going to start at fifty seven. So my profile has two mediocre pictures, both of them accurate, and I am aware that on an app built almost entirely around a face this is the equivalent of arriving without shoes.
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You can filter for height and not for whether somebody turns up
Looking for: somebody reliable, which is apparently an exotic requirement
Eleven years, three dynamics, two of them long.
The filters on this app will let me narrow by height, by whether somebody smokes, by distance, by age, and by about forty activities. There is no filter for the only quality that has ever decided whether one of these arrangements worked, which is whether a person does what they said they would do on a day when they do not feel like it.
Submissive in Sydney
Submitting, on terms set out before anyone opens a conversation.
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I learned all of this on message boards and now it is a deck of cards
Looking for: patience with somebody who is fluent in the wrong medium
Twenty years in, then a long gap, and now completely lost.
Everything I know about doing this properly I learned somewhere you had to write in paragraphs. You posted, people replied over days, you read a person's arguments for two years before you ever met them, and by the time you did you knew exactly who they were. Now it is a deck of cards and eleven words under a photograph, and I am fifty six and hopeless at it.
Switch in Sydney
Both directions, and looking for someone who can follow the change.
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A friend always knows where I am, and I say so in the chat
Looking for: somebody who finds none of that offensive
Four years, two short arrangements, both fine.
Before I meet anybody from this app, a friend gets the time, the suburb, the name I have been given and a screenshot of the profile. She gets a message when I arrive and another when I leave, and if she does not get the second one she calls me. I tell the person all of this in advance, in writing, in the chat, before we set a day.
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The only hour I am here is before the sun comes up
Looking for: somebody whose schedule happens to be the opposite of everybody else's
Four years, one long arrangement, ended last spring.
I am on this app between about half past five and half past six in the morning, in the dark, with the heater on and a coffee going cold. It is the only hour of my day that belongs to me. By seven the house is awake and by eight I am at work, and from then until I fall asleep I am somebody's employee, somebody's neighbour, somebody's lift.
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I came back after two years away and the whole thing works differently
Looking for: somebody willing to explain the mechanics without making it a favour
Twelve years, then two years of nothing, now starting again.
I was off all of this for two years while I looked after somebody and then while I recovered from looking after somebody. When I came back in March, the app I had used for years had changed shape entirely. Different layout, different rules about who sees you, a paid tier that did not exist before, and a whole grammar of behaviour that everybody else had apparently agreed on while I was gone.
Curious in Sydney
Downloaded something, has not decided yet, and is honest about it.
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I downloaded this in May and I have not swiped on anybody yet
Looking for: conversation with somebody who will not be in a hurry
None. Two months of reading and no messages sent.
I installed this in May and I have not swiped on a single person. I open it, I read profiles for twenty minutes, I close it. I have done that perhaps forty times now. It is not fear exactly, though there is some of that. It is that I genuinely do not know what I would be putting myself forward for.
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What I want is to be answerable to somebody, and I am not sure it belongs here
Looking for: somebody who can tell me whether this is the right place at all
None. A single very useful conversation in June.
What I want is to be answerable to somebody. To say what I intend to do and then be asked whether I did it. To be held to a standard by a person who actually notices. I have wanted this since I was in my twenties and I have never had a word for it, and I am genuinely unsure whether it belongs on an app like this one or somewhere else entirely.
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All my questions are about how these things end, and nobody wants those
Looking for: somebody willing to talk about the unflattering parts
None. Four months of conversations that stalled at the same point.
Every conversation I have had on here has gone the same way. It is warm and open until I start asking about endings, and then it cools within a message or two. How did the last one finish. What did you get wrong. What does somebody do when they have agreed to something and want out of it. Those are my actual questions and they appear to be the wrong ones.
Before you write your own
Reading the board tells you what lands. These four decisions happen before you write a word.
- The same person, compressed into an app bio
- Honest and anonymous are two separate dials
- A handle nothing about you comes back from
- What a photo says before anybody reads the words
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Post yours in Sydney
Reading them costs nothing. Putting your own where people near you will see it, and answering theirs, happens in the app this site connects to.