The board · Netherlands
BDSM contacts in Amsterdam
Amsterdam is small enough that the distance filter stops meaning anything, which removes the excuse every other board leans on. What is left is what somebody actually wants, said plainly and early. The pool turns over constantly and a good part of it writes in English. Housing is the practical constraint people name instead: sharing, subletting, or living somewhere that hosting anybody is not an option.
Posts come from the west, the east, Noord, the south and out by the ring. On an app that is a radius setting. Here people say it in words.
Submissive in Amsterdam
Submitting, on terms set out before anyone opens a conversation.
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No photograph of my face, in a city where everybody passes everybody
Looking for: a dominant who can build trust across a table instead of in an album
Ten years, two long dynamics, both entirely private.
There is no face on my profile and there is not going to be. This is a small city that everybody crosses on a bicycle, my field within it is smaller again, and a photograph in the wrong hands is not an embarrassment, it is a professional problem. Two people have called me a fake account for it, one of them in a first message, which saved us both a fortnight.
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My contract ends in fourteen months and I have put that in the first line
Looking for: somebody who wants a year properly rather than nothing carefully
Six years, two dynamics, both in other countries.
My contract ends in fourteen months and I have no idea what happens after it. I have put that at the top of my profile, which the app does not really allow for, since a profile is a snapshot and a snapshot cannot say I may not be here next autumn.
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We wrote for nine months and lived ten minutes apart the entire time
Looking for: somebody who will name a day inside the first fortnight
Five years, one dynamic, and one very long correspondence.
Nine months of daily messages with a woman who lived a ten minute ride from my front door. We covered everything. Terms, limits, what a week would look like, what we would do if it stopped working. We never met. It ended in March when she said, kindly and accurately, that she thought we had both been enjoying the writing instead of the thing.
Switch in Amsterdam
Both directions, and looking for someone who can follow the change.
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I am here until February and it is the first thing in my profile
Looking for: somebody who wants six months honestly rather than a year pretended
Nine years, four arrangements, three of them in other countries.
I arrived in April and I leave in February. Ten months, a fixed date, a return ticket already bought. That is line one of my profile and I put it there after a previous posting where I did not, and hurt somebody who had reasonably assumed otherwise.
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A fortnight from first message to a coffee, or I close it
Looking for: somebody who can find one hour in fourteen days
Eight years, three arrangements, all begun quickly.
Two weeks. That is the rule, and I say it in the second message so nobody is surprised. If we have not sat down somewhere public within a fortnight of starting to talk, I stop, politely, and I do not carry it on in the background.
Curious in Amsterdam
Downloaded something, has not decided yet, and is honest about it.
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A year of reading about this in two languages and doing none of it
Looking for: one honest conversation with somebody a long way in
None. A year of reading and no messages sent until now.
I have been reading about this for about a year, in two languages, in a browser with the history cleared, the way you research a symptom that frightens you. This is the first thing I have ever written anywhere. I have rewritten it four times and each version was more polite and less true than the last, so I am sending the fourth before I can improve it further.
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I put the word new in my profile and the messages changed completely
Looking for: somebody who is interested in me rather than in my having no history
None. Five months on the app and one word in my bio.
In March I added one sentence to my profile saying that I was new to all of this. Within a week the messages I was getting had changed character entirely. More of them, faster, and a noticeable share from people whose interest was clearly in the newness rather than in anything else about me.
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People here say what they want in one line and I cannot do it
Looking for: a slower conversation than this city seems to run on
None. Six weeks, four conversations, nothing arranged.
Everybody on this board states what they want in a sentence and expects the same back. I admire it and I cannot produce it. When somebody asks me directly what I am looking for I write four paragraphs of qualification, delete them, and send something so hedged that it means nothing at all.
Before you write your own
Reading the board tells you what lands. These four decisions happen before you write a word.
- The same person, compressed into an app bio
- Honest and anonymous are two separate dials
- A handle nothing about you comes back from
- What a photo says before anybody reads the words
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Post yours in Amsterdam
Reading them costs nothing. Putting your own where people near you will see it, and answering theirs, happens in the app this site connects to.