No photograph of my face, in a city where everybody passes everybody
- Looking for
- a dominant who can build trust across a table instead of in an album
- Experience
- Ten years, two long dynamics, both entirely private.
- Around
- the south, Amsterdam
There is no face on my profile and there is not going to be. This is a small city that everybody crosses on a bicycle, my field within it is smaller again, and a photograph in the wrong hands is not an embarrassment, it is a professional problem. Two people have called me a fake account for it, one of them in a first message, which saved us both a fortnight.
Forty three, the south, submissive, ten years in, two long dynamics that nobody outside them ever knew about, including the friends I see weekly. That is not shame. It is that both of those people had the same problem I do and we all handled it the same way.
What I offer instead of an album is speed in the other direction. I will meet you early, somewhere public, in daylight, and I am far more open across a table than I have ever been in a chat window. A table keeps no record of itself.
What I want after that is an arrangement with a shape: standing expectations, a rhythm, and a review every few months where either of us can say it is not working.
Not looking for anybody who treats caution as a puzzle to be solved with charm. Not looking to be seen out anywhere. And not looking for a person who needs regular reassurance that none of this is about them, because it genuinely is not, and I can only say that convincingly once.