A friend always knows where I am, and I say so in the chat
- Looking for
- somebody who finds none of that offensive
- Experience
- Four years, two short arrangements, both fine.
- Around
- the west, Sydney
Before I meet anybody from this app, a friend gets the time, the suburb, the name I have been given and a screenshot of the profile. She gets a message when I arrive and another when I leave, and if she does not get the second one she calls me. I tell the person all of this in advance, in writing, in the chat, before we set a day.
About one in six reacts badly. They say it is insulting, or that it means I have already decided they are dangerous, or that it kills the mood. Every one of those reactions has told me something useful and none of them has ever made me change the practice.
Thirty three, out west, switch, four years in, two short arrangements that both ended without incident.
The people who react well usually say something practical in return, like which suburb they will be coming from or that they will do the same. That is the beginning of an actual conversation about safety rather than a performance of trust. What I want is an ongoing arrangement, both directions over time, built slowly with somebody sensible.
Not looking for anybody who wants a first meeting anywhere private. Not looking for a person who negotiates the safety part. And not looking to be told that this city is not like that, which is a sentence I have heard from three men and believed from none of them.