which tab do you check first, be honest

Realized this morning I have a full ritual and nobody ever agreed to it. Kettle on, app open, likes tab first. Always likes first. Messages second, even when I can see there’s a reply waiting, which makes no sense because the messages are actual humans and the likes are mostly people who swiped once and will never think about me again.

I think the likes tab is dessert and I’m eating it for breakfast. Messages require something from me. Likes just sit there being nice.

My friend says she checks matches first, then closes the app without reading messages at all, saves them for the evening like a little treat. That sounded unhinged to me, and then I thought about it for two more minutes and now it sounds like wisdom.

So, be honest. What’s your open order? And does anyone actually have discipline about this or are we all just rats with a lever.

Messages first, always, because a human took time and that outranks a heart on a photo. But I'll defend your friend, the evening batch is the way. I check twice a day at set times and that closed the loop on the lever thing entirely. The app got so much less loud once it stopped being a slot machine in my pocket. Likes tab gets opened on Sundays like it's mail from a distant aunt.

likes first is fine. it's the warmup lap. you scan, you feel mildly appreciated, then you have the energy to write actual sentences to actual people. checking messages cold before coffee is how you send replies you regret by lunch