tealight_tam Opened it #1
Been on the apps for about a year and I have realised something slightly embarrassing about how I use them.
I have never sent a first message. Not once. I like people, I match with people, and then I wait. If they write, we talk. If they do not, it eventually disappears off the list and I feel a small unexamined sting about it.
I have told myself various things about why. That it filters for people who are actually interested. That I would rather be chosen than chase. That messaging first would come across as too keen.
Written down like that it sounds a lot more like fear than strategy.
The result is that my entire dating life for a year has been decided by people who happened to be feeling bold on a Tuesday. Which is a strange way to run anything.
For people who used to be like this and stopped: what actually got you over it? And does a first message from someone who normally waits read differently, or is that just something I have invented to worry about?
