I only write to people who have been on this app more than a year
- Looking for
- somebody who has already been through the disappointing part
- Experience
- Sixteen years, three dynamics, none of them short.
- Around
- the north shore, Sydney
It sounds like an odd filter and I cannot apply it directly, because the app does not tell you how long anybody has been here. You can work it out anyway. People in their first month write differently. There is a particular brightness to it, an assumption that the next conversation is the one, and it is lovely and it burns out around week nine.
I am not being unkind about beginners. I was one, at length, and the version of me that was new to this would have been terrible for anybody. What I have found is that a person who has been on here a year has already had the disappointing part happen to them and has decided to stay anyway. That decision is the thing I am actually looking for.
Fifty one, the north shore, dominant, sixteen years in, three dynamics and none of them under two years.
What I run is unspectacular and long. Terms agreed slowly, a rhythm that survives busy months, correction that is a conversation. I will not take responsibility for anybody in the first six weeks and I say so early.
Not looking for somebody in the middle of a crisis who wants a person to take the wheel. Not looking for a correspondence that never becomes a meeting. And not looking for anybody who thinks the interesting part of this is the beginning, because in my experience the beginning is the least interesting part of all of it.