It tells me we are eighty something percent compatible and I ignore it
- Looking for
- a submissive who can describe an ordinary week accurately
- Experience
- Ten years, two long arrangements, both written down.
- Around
- the eastern suburbs, Sydney
The app shows a number next to each profile, presumably built out of whichever boxes we both ticked, and it tells me how compatible we are before either of us has written a word. I have now met people at the top of that scale who I had nothing to say to by the second coffee, and had four good years with somebody the app scored in the middle.
What the number measures is overlap in vocabulary. What actually decides this is temperament, reliability and whether a person can tolerate being told no. There is no box for any of those, and if there were, nobody would tick it honestly.
Forty three, eastern suburbs, dominant, ten years in. Two long arrangements, both with terms written down and reviewed every few months, because I have watched several friends' dynamics collapse out of nothing more than ambiguity.
What I read instead of the score is the paragraph underneath. Specifically whether the person can describe an ordinary Tuesday in their life accurately, including the dull parts. Somebody who can do that has looked at their own week honestly, and somebody who cannot will agree to a schedule they were never going to keep. That single thing predicts more than every filter on the app combined, and it takes four minutes to check. What I want is a submissive who wants service to have a shape. Tasks with standards attached, reporting that happens on time, a clear route for telling me something is not working.
Not looking for anybody who agrees to terms to be agreeable and resents them by spring. Not looking to negotiate in the moment. Not looking for a person who has read a great deal and done none of it.