I rewrote the bio honestly, lost half my matches, and kept it
- Looking for
- fewer conversations, all of them with somebody who read the whole thing
- Experience
- Eight years, two arrangements, both ongoing at some level.
- Around
- the eastern suburbs, Sydney
Last spring I rewrote my profile to say what I actually want instead of what would appeal to the largest number of people. Within a month my matches were down by roughly half. Within three months I was having better conversations than I had managed in the previous two years, and I have not touched it since.
The old version said I was easy going, that I valued communication, that I was looking for a genuine connection. All true, all completely useless, and I could have pasted it onto any profile on this app without anybody noticing. The new one says I want a specific kind of ongoing arrangement, that I am not casual about it, that I expect reporting, and that I am slow and unromantic about the whole thing.
Fifty, eastern suburbs, dominant, eight years in. Two arrangements, one of which ran three years and became a friendship rather than ending.
What I want is a submissive who wants structure inside a full life rather than instead of one. Somebody I could describe accurately to a friend after a month.
Not looking for anybody who is here for a weekend. Not looking to be somebody's first conversation about therapy, which has happened enough times that I now say it in advance. And not looking for a person who agrees with everything I write, because the last two who did were both quietly miserable and neither of them said so until it was over.