The last one ran in six month stretches and it worked perfectly
- Looking for
- a long dynamic that changes direction on purpose
- Experience
- Twelve years, one dynamic that ran five of them.
- Around
- Brooklyn, New York
The arrangement that worked best for me ran in stretches. Six months one way, then a proper conversation, then six months the other, for five years. Not swapping in an evening, which I have never enjoyed and am not looking for. Long seasons, with a change deliberate enough to plan for.
I have never found a way to put that on a profile. There is no field for it and every attempt to explain it in a bio has come out sounding like indecision or like something negotiable in the first week. It is neither. It is the shape I know I do this well in.
Thirty seven, Brooklyn, twelve years in. That dynamic ended two years ago for ordinary reasons and we still speak. Since then I have had a series of things that lasted about six weeks each, all of which foundered at the point where I said the word switch out loud.
What I want is somebody in it for years rather than months, who finds the changeover interesting rather than threatening, and who is willing to write down what each season looks like so that neither of us is improvising a whole role.
Not looking for anyone who wants to alternate weekly, which for me collapses the whole thing. Not looking for a person who has only done one direction and is curious about the other, though I mean nothing unkind by that. Not looking for anything that has to be settled in the first fortnight.