The stack showed me a colleague and neither of us has mentioned it
- Looking for
- somebody outside my industry, which is a filter the app cannot do
- Experience
- Seven years, two dynamics, both kept entirely separate from work.
- Around
- Manhattan, New York
The app showed me somebody I sit two desks from. We did not match. I am fairly sure he saw me, because he has been very slightly odd since, and neither of us is ever going to raise it. There is no version of that conversation that improves anybody's week.
I mention it because it changed how I think about the whole thing. I had assumed the risk here was strangers. The actual risk is the opposite: this app draws a small circle around you and shows you the people you already stand next to.
Thirty three, Manhattan, seven years in, a switch, and now looking with an unspoken filter the app does not offer, which is anybody outside my own industry. That rules out a surprising share of this borough.
What I want is an ongoing dynamic, direction discussed rather than assumed, with somebody who keeps their professional life and this thoroughly separate and does not find that cold. I am warm in person and extremely boring on a screen, which several people have told me is the wrong way round for this app.
Not looking for anyone who wants to be seen at things together. Not looking to be added anywhere, ever. Not looking for a person who thinks working in the same field would be exciting, because I have watched that go badly for somebody I know and it cost her the job rather than the relationship.