The app made me pick one word and I am two of them
- Looking for
- somebody who can genuinely go both ways, not politely once a year
- Experience
- Nine years, two dynamics, one in each direction.
- Around
- Manhattan, New York
You get one tag. One word above your name that decides which stacks you appear in, and I am two things, so whichever I choose I become invisible to half the people I would actually suit. I have tested this. I switched the label in March and a completely different set of people appeared, none of whom overlapped with the previous set.
Thirty two, Manhattan, nine years in, two dynamics, one in each direction and both real. What I have learned is that the label problem is not really a software complaint. It is that most people here want one fixed thing from you, and the app has taught them to expect it, and a person who changes shape reads as indecisive rather than as two competent halves.
The difficulty is not finding a partner. It is finding somebody who can honestly go the other way, rather than enduring it once a quarter as a favour and then quietly resenting it. I have had that twice and both times it took a year to admit.
So I am asking for the specific thing. Somebody who has actually done both, who can tell me what they like about each, and who does not need us to decide in advance which of us is which on any given month.
Not looking for someone who wants to try switching for the first time with me and treat me as a workshop. Not looking to be told that switches cannot commit. Not looking for anyone who will only ever go one way and hopes I will settle.