The biggest city in the country and I keep meeting the same forty people
- Looking for
- somebody outside the loop I have already read twice
- Experience
- Four years, three dynamics, all short and all amicable.
- Around
- Manhattan, New York
I run two apps. I recognise about a third of the faces on both, and by now I know several bios well enough to spot when somebody has edited one. Eight million people and the pool of us who want this specific thing is small enough to have regulars.
Thirty, Manhattan, submissive, four years in. That smallness is not a complaint exactly. It is useful information. It means the person reading this has probably already seen me, possibly skipped me, and may well know somebody I have met. It means being careless with what you write is a bad long term strategy. It also means the copied opener that gets sent to everybody eventually gets compared.
So I am writing something that is actually mine. I want an ongoing dynamic with rules that survive a boring week. I want somebody who is direct about what they expect and asks directly what I need, rather than circling it for a fortnight in case I am offended.
I have three short dynamics behind me, all ended kindly, all ended because they were built on evenings rather than on anything structural.
Not looking for anyone running six conversations who will forget which one I am. Not looking for a first message that is only a greeting, because in a stack this size that is the least you could possibly do. And if we have already matched once and it went nowhere, I would honestly rather leave it there.