It lives on a phone in a drawer, and that is not going to change
- Looking for
- somebody who understands a household with no privacy in it
- Experience
- Five years, two dynamics, both conducted very quietly.
- Around
- Brooklyn, New York
The app is on an old handset that lives in a drawer and gets picked up when the flat is empty, which is not often. I live with my mother, who is unwell, and two other adults, and there is no hour of the day when somebody is not within arm's reach of anything I put down.
Thirty one, Brooklyn, five years in. This is not a secret from a partner. I have no partner and nobody is being deceived. It is a house with four adults, thin doors, and one bathroom, and the practical result is the same: I answer in bursts, at odd hours, and I cannot take a call.
I say all this at the top because it is the thing most likely to make you close the tab, and I would rather that happened now than in three weeks when the pattern starts looking like disinterest.
I am a switch, in both directions genuinely, and what I want is an arrangement that can be conducted with almost no spontaneity. Planned, scheduled, worked around a rota of care. I cannot host. I am not going to be able to see you at short notice. What I can offer is enormous reliability inside the window I actually control.
Not looking for anyone who needs contact through the day. Not looking for somebody who will find the caregiving inconvenient once the novelty passes, which has happened twice. Not looking for pity about any of it.