A stranger sent me a screenshot of my own profile from the other app
- Looking for
- somebody careful, who understands why I am careful now
- Experience
- Six years, three dynamics, all short by choice.
- Around
- Queens, New York
In April somebody I had never spoken to sent me a screenshot of my own profile from a different app, with a message that amounted to look what I found. Nothing threatening. Nothing that broke a rule anywhere. It simply demonstrated, in about four seconds, that two accounts I had kept carefully separate were obviously the same person to anybody paying attention.
I changed both. Different photographs, different wording, different everything. It has cost me matches and I would do it again. Thirty five, Queens, six years in, and a switch, which is relevant here because I had one account for each direction, which in hindsight was the whole vulnerability.
What I want now is somebody equally careful, for whom none of this feels like paranoia. Someone who does not screenshot conversations, who does not describe people to friends in identifiable detail, who understands that discretion is a habit rather than a mood. In exchange you get somebody who will never do it to you.
Beyond that: an ongoing dynamic, either direction, decided between us rather than assumed. I like structure. I like knowing what is expected. I am unbothered by long gaps in contact and I am extremely bothered by being described anywhere.
Not looking for anyone who collects people. Not looking to be a story. And if you have ever forwarded somebody's photograph to a friend for a laugh, we are not going to get on.