Sixty six, widowed, and the whole thing moved onto a phone while I was away
- Looking for
- company first and a dynamic after, in that order
- Experience
- Thirty eight years, one marriage with all of it openly inside.
- Around
- the Jersey side, New York
We were together thirty one years and this was in it from the start, openly, on both sides, in both directions depending on the decade. She died three years ago. I did nothing for two of those years and then found that the world I knew had moved onto a telephone while I was not looking.
Sixty six, the Jersey side. I am not fragile about any of it and I would rather not be handled carefully. I am also not looking for a replacement, which I have now said to three kind people who deserved a clearer answer than I gave them at the time.
What I would like first is company. People to talk to who understand the vocabulary without a preamble. I have discovered that the loneliest part is not the absence of a dynamic, it is that there is nobody left who knows this about me.
After that, and only after that, I would be glad of something ongoing. Either direction. I have run both and I am competent at both, and at my age I have no interest at all in proving anything. The thing I find hardest here is the pace. Everybody wants a decision by the third message. I would like a fortnight of ordinary conversation first, and I am aware that on this app a fortnight is a geological age.
Not looking for anyone who finds my age charming. Not looking for a project. Not looking to explain grief in a chat window.