I read this board for six months before making a profile
- Looking for
- one honest conversation with somebody experienced
- Experience
- None. A great deal of reading and no doing.
- Around
- Queens, New York
I have been reading posts like this one since January without an account, on a browser, in an incognito window, like somebody researching a medical symptom. This is the first thing I have written. I have rewritten it four times and each version was less honest than the last, so this is the fourth one and I am sending it before I can improve it again.
Forty five, Queens, divorced two years, no experience of anything in this world. What I have is a very clear sense that something has been missing and a very unclear sense of what it is. Six months of reading has taught me the vocabulary and almost nothing else.
What I want is one honest conversation with somebody who has been doing this for years and can tell me what it is actually like on an ordinary Tuesday. Not the intense version. The maintenance version. Whether it takes up a lot of your life. Whether people are as careful as the posts suggest.
I am not looking for a dynamic today. I might not be looking for one this year. I would like to stop being a person who reads about things.
Not looking for anyone who wants to skip straight to arranging something. Not looking to be told my age is unusual here, because I already know and it is part of why this took six months. Not looking for a person who is bored of explaining, which is entirely fair, and I will not take it personally.