Log In Sign Up

The board · New York · Curious

I downloaded this in March and I still do not know what I am

Posted as downloaded_it_in_march, 30 August 2026

Looking for
conversation with somebody who is not going to hurry me
Experience
None. Four months of reading and one nervous conversation.
Around
Brooklyn, New York

I downloaded this in March after about two years of thinking about it and I still cannot tell you what I am. Not a coy not sure. An actual, honest, I have never done any of this and the words people use do not yet attach to anything I have felt in a room.

Twenty seven, Brooklyn. What brought me here was noticing the same thing in myself over and over across several years and eventually deciding that reading about it privately was not going to resolve anything. What has kept me here is that the conversations, the two of them I have managed, were far more ordinary than I expected. Nobody has been strange with me. One person spent an hour explaining negotiation and asked for nothing at all.

What I want is more of that. Conversation. Questions answered. Possibly, eventually, meeting somebody in daylight for a coffee that is explicitly not the beginning of anything. I am not ready to agree to anything and I would rather say that plainly than discover it halfway through.

I am not nervous exactly. I am unformed, which is a different feeling and a more interesting one.

Not looking for anybody who wants to tell me what I am after four messages. Not looking to be somebody's first project. Not looking for a person who reads inexperience as an opportunity, and I have already learned to spot the shape of that in a first message.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

What to have sorted before you reply

If this one reads like your own head rather than somebody to answer, the tactics can wait. These three all happen before there is a first match to get wrong.

Also in New York

Every post in New York →

Reading is free. Answering needs an account.

Put one of your own where people near you will read it, and answer the ones already up.

Open the app Already have an account? Log in