The radius says two miles. Two miles here is fifty minutes
- Looking for
- somebody on my own line who understands what near actually means
- Experience
- Five years, one dynamic that ran two of them, ended when she moved.
- Around
- Queens, New York
My distance filter is set to two miles and it lies to me every single day. Two miles from where I live is a bus, a transfer and the better part of an hour, and the app has never once mentioned this. It measures a straight line across a city nobody can walk across.
Thirty four, Queens, submissive, five years in. I have wasted more evenings on that number than on anything else. The worst was somebody the app told me was one point four miles away, which turned out to mean a river, two changes and a walk at the far end, on a Tuesday, in February.
What I actually need is somebody reachable on the same line as me, or willing to be. That is not a preference, it is the difference between seeing each other weekly and seeing each other twice and then apologising for two months.
I want an ongoing dynamic rather than an occasional one. I am good at routine and I am bad at intensity in short bursts. Give me standing expectations, a check in that happens whether or not we can be in a room together, and correction that is spoken rather than performed.
Not looking for somebody who will describe forty five minutes each way as nothing. It is not nothing, it is the reason your last three arrangements ended, and mine. Not looking to be a weekend project. And not looking for anyone who wants to negotiate the whole thing in a chat window before we have said a word out loud.