I have matched with eleven people and written to none of them
- Looking for
- somebody who will write first and not mind that I could not
- Experience
- None. Eleven matches and an empty message list.
- Around
- Brooklyn, New York
Eleven matches. Zero messages sent. Every time one comes up I open the window, think about it for a while, and put the phone down, and by the next day it feels too late to be the person who writes on day two. I am aware how this looks. It looks like I am not serious. I have been thinking about this for four years.
Twenty six, Brooklyn, no experience at all. The freeze is not about kink. I have the same problem writing to a colleague I like. The difference is that at work there is a reason to speak and here the only reason is wanting something, which turns out to be the hardest sentence to start.
So this post is me going around the problem. Writing something long into an empty room is much easier than writing four lines to one person, and if you write to me first I will answer properly, at length, and probably faster than you expect.
What I want, as far as I can tell, is structure and being answerable to somebody. I do not know what that looks like in practice and I would like to find out slowly, in conversation, before anything else.
Not looking for anyone who will find the nervousness appealing. Not looking to be pushed towards meeting quickly to get me over it. Not looking for a person who wants to be my breakthrough.