Every notification has been off since January and I am not going back
- Looking for
- somebody who can go eight hours without a reply and think nothing of it
- Experience
- Nine years, two dynamics, both conducted at a civilised pace.
- Around
- the Jersey side, New York
I turned every notification off in January. No badge, no banner, no sound. I check twice a day, morning and late evening, and the improvement in my life has been so large that I now warn people about it in advance rather than let them discover it as a personality flaw.
What I learned is that the urgency was never real. Nothing on here has ever needed an answer inside an hour. The urgency was manufactured by a red dot, and once it was gone I found I was writing better messages to fewer people, which is the only thing that has ever worked.
Forty four, the Jersey side, dominant, nine years in. Two dynamics, both conducted at a pace that would look glacial to anybody used to this app, both of them lasting years rather than weeks.
What I am looking for is a submissive who can tolerate that rhythm and preferably prefers it. If a gap between messages makes you anxious, I am not the answer to that, and I would be a bad one to try. Inside a dynamic I am consistent to the point of dull: standing rules, a fixed check in, correction that arrives calmly and once.
Not looking for anyone who needs contact throughout the day to feel held. That is a real need and it deserves someone who can meet it. Not looking for a person who tests silence by sending three more messages into it.