I can tell in two lines whether you wrote that for me
- Looking for
- one specific paragraph from somebody who actually read the profile
- Experience
- Eleven years, two arrangements, both long and both documented.
- Around
- Brooklyn, New York
The tell is the second line. The first line of a copied opener is often decent, because the person spent an evening polishing it once. The second line is where it stops being about anybody in particular, and I can see the seam from a mile off, and so can everybody else you sent it to. I do not think the people doing this are lazy. I think the app has taught them that volume is the strategy, which is rational when four in five messages go nowhere. It is still the reason four in five go nowhere.
Forty, Brooklyn, dominant, eleven years, two long arrangements, both of them on paper with terms written down and reviewed every few months. I have watched five friends' dynamics collapse from nothing more than ambiguity, which is why I do it that way.
What I want is a submissive who wants service to have a shape. Tasks with standards attached. Reporting that happens on time. Clear rules about how you tell me something is not working.
A useful first message contains one thing that could only have been written to me and one thing that is true about you and slightly inconvenient to admit. That is the whole test. It takes four minutes.
Not looking for somebody who agrees to terms to be agreeable and then resents them. Not looking for anyone who wants to negotiate in the moment. Not looking for a scene.