Sixty four, and it took me two years to learn how this place works
- Looking for
- a submissive who prefers formality to performance
- Experience
- Thirty one years in, two years of that on a phone.
- Around
- the Jersey side, New York
Everything that used to happen in rooms now happens on a telephone, and I have made my peace with it, but the etiquette took me two full years and a good deal of embarrassment to learn. Nobody writes it down. You are simply expected to know that a long first message is wrong, that a compliment about a photograph reads badly, and that silence is a complete sentence.
I know all that now. I still think several of the conventions are a mistake. Chief among them is the habit of three exchanges of nothing followed by a disappearance nobody explains, which would have been considered extraordinary rudeness in any other part of my life.
Sixty four, the Jersey side, dominant, thirty one years in this and no interest in stopping. Widowed four years ago. I am not looking for a replacement, which is a distinction I have had to make gently to two very kind people already.
What I want is formality. Address, manners, an arrangement with a proper shape, and somebody who finds all of that steadying rather than silly. My style is quiet. I have never needed volume.
Not looking for a pen pal. Not looking for anybody who wants a photograph before a conversation. Not looking to be anybody's novelty, and I have learned that the word distinguished in a first message usually means exactly that.