Two hundred matches, eleven replies, and one meeting in two years
- Looking for
- one person who will send four messages in a row
- Experience
- Two years, no dynamic, one good friendship.
- Around
- the city centre, Glasgow
Two hundred matches. Eleven of them replied to anything I sent. One turned into a coffee, which was fine, and then nothing. That is two years and those are the real numbers, and I have finally stopped reading them as a verdict on me.
Twenty six, the city centre, submissive, two years in and no dynamic to show for it, though one of the eleven is now a friend I speak to weekly.
What I have worked out is that a match costs nobody anything and therefore means nothing. Everyone here, me included for most of last year, is holding forty conversations that never started. Nobody is being cruel. We are all just each other's background noise.
So I do it differently now. I write first, on the day, with something in it that could only have been sent to that person, and I do not match with anybody I am not going to write to. My totals fell off a cliff and my life got better.
Not looking to be one of forty. Not looking for anybody who reappears after three weeks with a cheerful nothing. Not looking for a person who thinks matching is the achievement, because I have two hundred of them and they are worth absolutely nothing.