I have read about this for years and done not one thing about it
- Looking for
- one honest conversation with somebody a long way in
- Experience
- None. Years of reading and no messages sent until this one.
- Around
- the west end, Glasgow
I have been reading about this since I was in my twenties, in private, in a browser with the history cleared, the way you research something you are frightened of. This is the first thing I have ever written anywhere and I have rewritten it four times. Each version was politer and less true than the last, so this is the fourth and I am sending it before I can improve it again.
Thirty eight, the west end, no experience of anything in this world. What I have is a very clear sense that something is missing and an extremely unclear sense of what it is. Years of reading has given me the vocabulary and nothing at all besides.
What I want is one honest conversation with somebody who has been at this a long time and can tell me what it is actually like on a Tuesday. Not the intense version. The maintenance version. Whether it takes up much of your life.
I am not looking for anything today and possibly not this year. I would just like to stop being a person who reads about things. Not looking to be assessed. Not looking for anybody who wants to skip to arranging something.