I tell people no in one line and I get called rude for it weekly
- Looking for
- somebody who would rather be told than left in a queue
- Experience
- Twelve years, two arrangements, both ended by conversation.
- Around
- the city centre, Glasgow
When I am not going to take something further I say so, in one line, usually within a few days. Some version of: I have enjoyed this and I am not going to pursue it, all the best. No explanation, because an explanation invites a negotiation and there is nothing to negotiate.
About one person in eight answers angrily. I have been called rude, cold and a few things I will not repeat. Two people reported me, which I assume is why my account went read only for a week last autumn. Several more have thanked me, and one of those is now a friend.
Forty three, the city centre, dominant, twelve years in.
I keep doing it because the alternative is what everybody else on this board does, which is to go quiet and let somebody work it out over a fortnight. That is not kinder. It is just cheaper for the person doing it, and it is the single most complained about thing on any board in this city.
What I want is one arrangement with a clear shape. Written expectations, a fixed evening, reporting between, and an agreed way for either of us to say it has stopped working. Not looking for anybody who cannot say no themselves, because if you cannot say that you will not say the other difficult things either.