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The board · Amsterdam · Switch

I opened my age filter to everything and the queue barely changed

Posted as age_filter_wide, 14 September 2026

Looking for
people who have been doing this long enough to be calm about it
Experience
Twenty two years, three arrangements, the longest twelve.
Around
the east, Amsterdam

Out of curiosity I set my age range to the widest the app allows, from the youngest it permits to the oldest, expecting to see a very different city. The queue barely moved. What that told me is not that there is nobody older here. It is that the people my age are not on the app, or are on it invisibly, hidden behind the setting that lets you browse without appearing.

Fifty seven, the east, switch, twenty two years in. Three arrangements, the longest of them twelve years, ended when he became ill and then when he died, and that was four years ago and I am fine.

What I want is somebody within a decade of me, which is a filter I now have to apply by reading rather than by setting, since the people I am describing are mostly not in the stack at all. If that is you, and you are reading a board rather than swiping, that is exactly the point.

I go both ways, I have done for twenty years, and I no longer explain it to anybody.

Not looking for anybody who finds my age interesting. Not looking to be somebody's education. Not looking for a person who is here to work out what they are, which is an honourable position and not one I have the patience for any more.

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What to have sorted before you reply

Which direction is on the table this month is not in the post, and asking flat out reads badly. That takes a conversation, and a conversation needs a room you can walk out of.

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Put one of your own where people near you will read it, and answer the ones already up.

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