In a pool this size I appear to be the only person asking for this
- Looking for
- one other person who wants a reciprocal arrangement and means it
- Experience
- Ten years, four arrangements, none genuinely reciprocal.
- Around
- Noord, Amsterdam
I have been through the entire queue of this city more than once and I have found perhaps three people who want what I want, and two of them were not available. That is not self pity, it is a count. In a large city a narrow requirement is a filtering problem. Here it is an arithmetic one.
What I want is a genuinely reciprocal arrangement. Not somebody flexible. Not somebody who will politely endure the other direction once a quarter to keep me happy. Somebody who actively wants both, has done both, and can tell me which they prefer on a given month without it becoming a negotiation about identity.
Forty one, Noord, switch, ten years in, four arrangements and not one of them managed it, which I now think was my fault as much as anybody's for accepting near enough. So this post is essentially an advertisement, placed in the hope that a fourth person exists and reads boards rather than swiping.
I am organised, direct, and very clear about how the change happens: agreed in advance, with a start and an end, never in the middle of an evening and never because one of us is in a mood.
Not looking for somebody who will try it once for my sake. Not looking to explain the concept again. Not looking for a person who uses the flexibility as a way of never committing to either.