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The board · Amsterdam · Switch

Everything I want to say is longer than the box allows

Posted as write_long_box_cuts, 6 September 2026

Looking for
somebody who will read three paragraphs without calling it a lot
Experience
Seven years, two arrangements, both begun in writing.
Around
out by the ring, Amsterdam

I write long messages. Three or four paragraphs, properly punctuated, sent once and then left alone. The chat window is not built for this. It breaks a long message into a wall, it shows the other person a preview that makes it look enormous, and I have twice watched somebody open one, see the length, and never come back.

I have tried writing shorter. It produces conversations I do not enjoy, with people who would not have liked the longer version anyway, and the whole thing ends around week three when it becomes clear that neither of us has said anything.

Forty, out by the ring, switch, seven years in. Both of my arrangements began with a long exchange in writing and both lasted years.

What I want is one ongoing arrangement, both directions over time, with somebody who also thinks in paragraphs. I will tell you clearly what I want, what I do not, and where my limits are, in more detail than most people expect, and I would like the same back.

Not looking for anybody who answers a page with a word. Not looking to be told I am intense, which is the polite version of the same complaint. And not looking for a correspondence that never becomes a meeting, since a fortnight of this is plenty.

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What to have sorted before you reply

Which direction is on the table this month is not in the post, and asking flat out reads badly. That takes a conversation, and a conversation needs a room you can walk out of.

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