Every person I have matched with has already matched with two friends of mine
- Looking for
- somebody grown up about a pool this small and this interconnected
- Experience
- Six years, three arrangements, two of them reciprocal.
- Around
- the south, Amsterdam
Last month a woman I had been writing to mentioned, entirely innocently, a detail about a friend of mine that she could only have learned in one way. We worked it out in about four messages. Nobody had done anything wrong. It is simply that this pool is small enough that the same forty people have been circulating through each other's queues for years.
That reality changes how you have to behave. You cannot treat a conversation here as disposable, because the person on the other end will be at somebody's table within a year. I have watched two people conduct a very public falling out on this board and both of them are effectively finished here, not because anybody punished them but because everybody read it.
Thirty five, the south, switch, six years in. Three arrangements, two of which went genuinely both ways.
So I am careful, and careful is not the same as secretive. I do not discuss anybody by name. I do not screenshot. I end things in a sentence rather than by vanishing.
What I want is one ongoing arrangement that runs in both directions, agreed properly, never improvised mid evening. Not looking for anybody who treats this board as anonymous, because it is not. Not looking to be discussed. Not looking for drama that will outlast me.