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The board · Amsterdam · Curious

I moved here in March and downloaded this in April, in that order

Posted as arrived_march_installed_april, 25 August 2026

Looking for
conversation with somebody who is not going to hurry me
Experience
None. Three months of reading and two short conversations.
Around
the west, Amsterdam

I moved here in March and installed this in April, and the two facts are related in a way I have not entirely worked out. Something about being in a place where nobody has known me for twenty years made a question I had been avoiding since my twenties suddenly askable.

Thirty two, the west, and completely new. No experience of any of this beyond reading. What has kept me here is that the conversations have been far more ordinary than I expected. One person spent an hour explaining how negotiation actually works and asked for nothing at all. Another told me plainly that I sounded like somebody who should take a year over it.

What I want is more of that. Questions answered honestly by people who have done this rather than read about it. Possibly, in time, a coffee in daylight that is explicitly not the start of anything.

I am not ready to agree to anything and I would rather say that now than discover it halfway through.

Not looking for anybody who wants to tell me what I am after four messages. Not looking to be somebody's first project. Not looking for a person who reads inexperience as an opportunity, which I have learned to spot from the shape of a first message.

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What to have sorted before you reply

If this one reads like your own head rather than somebody to answer, the tactics can wait. These three all happen before there is a first match to get wrong.

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