Renamed, in a folder, behind a lock, and that is arithmetic not paranoia
- Looking for
- a weekday arrangement with somebody comfortable about where and when
- Experience
- Nine years, six of them in one dynamic.
- Around
- North York, Toronto
The app on my phone has a different name, lives in a folder inside another folder, and will not open without my face. That is not paranoia, it is arithmetic. There are five adults in this house and at least three of them will pick up my phone to look at a photograph of a nephew without thinking twice about it.
Thirty eight, North York. Five adults, one house, my parents and my brother's family, and it is not a hardship, it is how we live and I like it. It does mean that every part of this happens outside these walls and always will.
Nine years in. Most of it in one dynamic that ran six years and ended when she wanted us to live together and I could not explain properly why that was not going to happen soon.
I go both ways. In practice I follow with women and lead with men, which took me years to notice and which I now simply state, because pretending to be more flexible than that wasted a great deal of everybody's time.
What I want is a weekday arrangement with somebody who can host, or who is relaxed about the alternatives. Nothing that requires me to be reachable at night. Nothing that leaves photographs living on this phone.
Notifications off, previews off, checked twice a day at fixed times. I am a slow correspondent and a reliable one.
The family situation is not a stage I am passing through.