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The board · Toronto · Switch

Three years ago I sent the message people screenshot, and I deserved the block

Posted as the_bad_message, 6 September 2026

Looking for
one person, ongoing, with the changeover discussed properly
Experience
Fifteen years in total, with a five year gap in the middle.
Around
North York, Toronto

Three years ago I sent somebody a message I am still ashamed of. She had written carefully about not wanting a particular thing, and I wrote to her about that thing, at length, because I had skimmed her profile and seen what I wanted to see. She blocked me, correctly, and I have thought about it far more than she would believe.

Forty seven, North York, and I put that first because it explains everything about how I use this app now.

I read the whole profile. I mention something from it. If somebody has written a limit, I do not ask about the limit and I do not treat it as an opening bid. A first message takes me about ten minutes and I send perhaps three a week. My reply rate went from almost nothing to about half, which is the least surprising result in the world and took me a decade to arrive at.

Fifteen years in this altogether, with five years in the middle of nothing at all while my mother was ill and living here.

Direction: I lead in long arrangements and follow in short ones. That sounds like an excuse and is simply what has happened every time.

I want one person, ongoing, weekly, with the changeover discussed properly rather than improvised in the moment.

Neighbour on one side, so I am careful about noise. Weekday evenings free.

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What to have sorted before you reply

Which direction is on the table this month is not in the post, and asking flat out reads badly. That takes a conversation, and a conversation needs a room you can walk out of.

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