I sleep in one half of this city and the app has me in the other
- Looking for
- somebody near where I actually sleep, not where I happen to be at noon
- Experience
- Seven years, two dynamics, both of them long.
- Around
- the inner west, Sydney
The app updates my location whenever I open it, and I only ever open it on my break, which means for two years it has been quietly advertising me to people near my desk rather than people near my bed. I worked this out in April when three separate matches turned out to live within walking distance of my office and an hour from my flat.
Forty one, inner west by night, somewhere else entirely by day, submissive, seven years in. It sounds like a small technical thing. It is not. It means every stack I have swiped through was the wrong stack, and every person who swiped on me was told I was close when I was not.
I now only open it at home, in the evening, which has the side effect of making my last active time look like the profile of somebody barely interested. I would rather be accurately placed than frequently seen. It has also halved the number of people who appear near me, which tells you something about how much of that queue was never really near me at all.
What I want is an ongoing dynamic with somebody who lives near enough that a weeknight is possible. That is the whole logistical requirement, and I have learned the hard way that it decides more than compatibility does.
Not looking for a person who will describe an hour each way as no trouble in week one and then say nothing about it in week nine. Not looking for a correspondence that never becomes a meeting. And not looking to be asked why I am not online more, because I am here in the evenings and that is on purpose.