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The board · Sydney · Switch

Every photograph I own has somebody else in it

Posted as no_photos_without_family, 27 August 2026

Looking for
patience with a profile that looks half finished and is not
Experience
Eleven years, two arrangements, one still running.
Around
the north shore, Sydney

The app wants six photographs and I have two. Not because I am hiding, but because I have spent twenty years being the person who takes the picture, and every image of me that exists has a relative in the frame, a background that identifies a house, or an occasion in it that half this city could date. Cropping does not fix any of that.

So my profile looks unfinished and the app tells me so, regularly, with a little bar showing how incomplete I am. It also, I am fairly sure, shows me to fewer people because of it. That is the trade and I have made peace with it.

Forty three, the north shore, switch, eleven years in. Two arrangements, one of which is ongoing and takes one evening a month, which is exactly what both of us want from it.

What I am looking for is a second arrangement running the other direction, with somebody who understands that a thin profile is not the same as an evasive person. I will happily do a video call early. I will meet somewhere public quickly. What I will not do is manufacture an album to satisfy a progress bar.

Not looking for anybody who needs to see more before writing a sentence. Not looking for a person who wants exclusivity, since I have said plainly that there is already an arrangement. And not looking to be anybody's secret, which is a different thing entirely from being private.

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What to have sorted before you reply

Which direction is on the table this month is not in the post, and asking flat out reads badly. That takes a conversation, and a conversation needs a room you can walk out of.

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