I am ending three four month conversations this week
- Looking for
- somebody who wants an arrangement rather than a pen pal
- Experience
- Fifteen years, four dynamics, all of them started within a fortnight.
- Around
- Brooklyn, New York
Three conversations on my phone are more than four months old. Each is pleasant. Each involves somebody I like. None has produced a single meeting, and this week I am closing all three, because I have finally admitted that they are not the beginning of anything, they are the thing itself.
That is what this app does to people who are lonely and busy at the same time. It gives you the feeling of company at a cost of ten minutes a day, and the feeling is real enough that you stop noticing you have not sat in a room with anybody for a year.
Forty nine, Brooklyn, dominant, fifteen years in. Every dynamic I have had that worked started with a meeting inside a fortnight. Not because urgency is romantic. Because a person in a room is a different quantity of information than a person in a chat window, and no amount of typing converts one into the other.
So my terms: a few messages, a video call if you want one, then a public coffee inside two weeks or we shake hands and stop. I will not be offended if you say no. I would rather be told in week one.
What I want after that is a structured, ongoing dynamic with somebody who has time for it. Not looking for anyone who cannot meet for two months for reasons that keep changing. Not looking to be somebody's evening reading.