Six people asked me to teach them this year, all in a first message
- Looking for
- somebody newer who wants to learn, on terms written down first
- Experience
- Twenty two years, three long dynamics, a lot of time spent explaining.
- Around
- Manhattan, New York
Six people have asked me to mentor them this year. Every one of them asked in a first message, and not one of them asked what that would involve. I find that worrying rather than flattering, because the version of this arrangement that goes wrong goes wrong exactly there, in the gap where nobody defined anything.
Mentorship in this world has a poor history. It is very easy for an experienced person to describe access to themselves as education, and the app makes it easier, because a stranger with twenty years in their bio looks like an authority and there is no way to check.
Fifty five, Manhattan, dominant, twenty two years in. So here are my terms in advance. What I offer can be entirely non physical, and it is that by default. Conversation, questions answered honestly, talk about negotiation and aftercare and how you work out whether somebody is safe. If it becomes something else later because both of us want it, good. If it never does, that is a completely successful outcome.
I would rather you were over twenty five, purely because it works better with some life behind you, and I would much rather you were already talking to other people here, so that nothing I say carries the weight of being the only version you have heard.
Not looking for anyone who wants a title in the first week. Not looking to be your only source. Not looking for somebody who wants to skip the boring parts, which are the entire subject.