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The board · New York · Switch

There is not a single photograph of me that I would put on here

Posted as no_photographs_i_like, 13 September 2026

Looking for
somebody who will meet before deciding what I look like
Experience
Three years, one dynamic, ended when he moved home.
Around
Brooklyn, New York

I do not have a photograph of myself that I like. Not one. I have spent three years on an app whose entire mechanism is photographs, with a profile made of things that are not my face: a hand, a bookshelf, a coat on a hook. I know exactly what that costs me in the queue.

Twenty nine, Brooklyn, three years in. This is not a mystery about what I look like. I am fat, I am short, and I am entirely at ease about both in a room and thoroughly unphotogenic on a screen, which are different problems than people assume. In person I am fine. In a grid of forty faces I disappear.

So I would like to meet somebody in daylight, early, before either of us has decided anything. Coffee, an hour, nothing attached. If it is not there, we say so kindly and that is the whole event.

What I want after that is an ongoing dynamic in either direction. I have done one, which ran a year and was good, and it started because somebody read a post like this one rather than looking at a picture.

Not looking for anyone who wants photographs sent privately before we meet, which is the most common reply I get and always precedes a disappearance. Not looking to be complimented on my confidence. Not looking for a person for whom this is a preference they would like to explore.

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What to have sorted before you reply

Which direction is on the table this month is not in the post, and asking flat out reads badly. That takes a conversation, and a conversation needs a room you can walk out of.

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