Fifty seven, alone for the first time, and asking a question late
- Looking for
- an unhurried conversation with somebody near my own age
- Experience
- None. Twenty nine years of marriage and one unspoken thing.
- Around
- Coral Gables, Miami
My husband died two years ago and we were married for twenty nine of them. He was a good man and there was one thing I never told him, not because he would have been cruel about it but because the moment to say it never arrived and then it had been fifteen years and saying it would have been an accusation. That is the whole of my history here and it is not much of one.
Fifty seven, Coral Gables, retired from school administration, and the app went on my phone in the spring after my sister told me to stop waiting for permission from a man who is not here.
I do not know what I want. I know what has interested me since I was young and I know I have never once said it aloud to another person. That is where I am starting from, at an age when everybody else on this board seems to have a settled answer.
What I would like is a slow conversation with somebody unhurried, ideally not decades younger than me, who can talk about what this actually looks like in an ordinary life. I am not fragile and I am not looking to be rescued from anything. I have simply left a question unasked for a very long time and I would like to ask it now.