This thing hides anybody who is not on it every day, including me
- Looking for
- somebody who found this post rather than being handed my profile
- Experience
- Thirteen years, three dynamics, all of them slow to start.
- Around
- Didsbury, Manchester
I open this app twice a week. The consequence, which took me two years to work out, is that I am effectively invisible, because everything about the way it sorts people rewards being on it constantly. A person who checks in hourly is shown to everybody. A person who checks in on Sundays might as well not exist.
I am not going to change my behaviour to satisfy a sorting rule. When I checked it constantly I was worse at this. I answered quickly and shallowly, kept six conversations warm out of politeness, and let people who deserved a decision sit in a queue for a month.
Forty six, Didsbury, dominant, thirteen years in, three dynamics and all of them slow to begin.
So I write on boards instead, where being found is a matter of somebody reading rather than an algorithm deciding I have earned it this week. If you are reading this, you chose to, which is already a better filter than anything the app has offered me.
What I run is steady rather than impressive. Standing expectations that do not change with my mood, attention that outlasts the novelty. Not looking for anybody who needs daily contact in the first month. Not looking for a person who reads a delay as disinterest.