The messages I answer are the ones with a day of the week in them
- Looking for
- somebody who knows which evenings are genuinely theirs
- Experience
- Twelve years, two arrangements, both of them years long.
- Around
- the city centre, Manchester
I get a lot of messages and I answer the ones with a day in them. Not because I am in a hurry. Because a person who can tell me which evening is genuinely theirs has looked honestly at their own week, and a person who cannot will agree to a schedule they were never going to keep.
I learned that expensively. Twice I have built something with somebody warm and specific about what they wanted and entirely vague about when, and both times the whole thing collapsed in about eight weeks under nothing more dramatic than a diary.
Forty five, the city centre, dominant, twelve years in. Two arrangements, both of them long, both of which began with somebody telling me in the first fortnight that Wednesdays were theirs and always would be.
So a useful first message to me contains a day, and one thing that is true about you and slightly inconvenient to admit. That is the whole test and it takes four minutes.
What I want is a submissive who wants service to have a shape. Tasks with standards attached, reporting on time, a clear route for telling me something is not working.
Not looking for anybody who agrees to things to be agreeable. Not looking to negotiate in the moment. Not looking for a person who has read a great deal about this and done none of it.