Every man here is a risk until proved otherwise, and I accept that
- Looking for
- somebody who will let a slow careful process do the work
- Experience
- Eight years, two dynamics, both of them slow to start and long to end.
- Around
- downtown, Los Angeles
I am a dominant man on an app where a lot of women have had a genuinely bad time, and I have stopped taking the caution personally. If your first three messages to me are checks rather than conversation, that is a reasonable response to the place we are both standing in. I do not find it insulting, I do not need it explained, and I am not going to make a speech about how I am one of the good ones, which is what the ones who are not do.
Forty seven, downtown, dominant, eight years in, two arrangements of two and three years.
What I do instead is make it easy. A short video call whenever you like, and I will go first. A public meeting in daylight for as long as you want that to continue. No pressure about photographs in either direction, and no questions about your address, your workplace or your surname until you volunteer them.
What I want is an ongoing structured dynamic with real expectations in it, built slowly, with a weekly rhythm and a conversation every couple of months about what is working.
Not looking for anyone who wants to be swept off their feet in week one. Not looking for someone who needs me to be constantly reassuring about the same fear. And not looking to be anybody's evidence that men are fine, which is a job I have had before and cannot do again.