Cancelling on somebody here costs one tap and no eye contact
- Looking for
- a dominant who treats an agreed evening as a thing that happened
- Experience
- Four years, one dynamic of eighteen months, ended when he moved north.
- Around
- the Valley, Los Angeles
The design is the problem and I have stopped taking it personally. Cancelling on somebody you met in a room means saying it to their face. Cancelling on somebody from here is one tap, at eleven at night, with no name attached to the feeling. I have been cancelled on by people who were perfectly decent and who would never have done it if the thing they were cancelling had cost them anything to arrange.
Thirty three, the Valley, submissive, four years in. One real dynamic that ran a year and a half and ended for an ordinary reason.
So the only thing I now ask for at the start is a small amount of friction. Say the day out loud on a call. Put it somewhere neither of us can quietly delete. Tell me the night before that it is still happening, and if it is not, tell me that instead of leaving me to work it out from a silence at seven.
What I want after that is unremarkable and I want it to last. Standing expectations. Something I do daily and report on. A person who notices when the reporting stops rather than when it becomes inconvenient.
Not looking for anybody who needs to be reminded that we agreed something. Not looking for a conversation that lives permanently at the planning stage. And not looking for the version of this where I am the one being flexible every single time, because I have done eighteen months of that and it turns out to be a full time job.