Eleven meetings, eleven people exactly like their profiles, and nothing after
- Looking for
- the part that comes after a perfectly pleasant first afternoon
- Experience
- Three years, no dynamic yet, eleven first meetings and no second ones.
- Around
- the Westside, Los Angeles
Nobody has ever lied to me on here. That is the strange part. Eleven people, eleven first meetings, and every one of them was recognisably the person in the profile: the right age, the right face, honest about their experience, pleasant company for ninety minutes. And then nothing, eleven times, and I genuinely cannot tell you what is missing.
Twenty seven, the Westside, submissive, three years of this and no arrangement to show for it.
I have theories. One is that I am too agreeable in person and leave with nothing decided, so there is nothing for a second meeting to be about. Another is that everybody in this city is running six of these at once and I am simply never anybody's best option that week. I suspect the first one is closer.
So I am changing what I do rather than what I write. I will ask, at the meeting, whether there is a second one and what it would be for. It sounds blunt written down. It is a great deal less painful than another fortnight of pleasant messages that fade.
What I want is a dominant who is looking for something ongoing and structured, and who is comfortable saying so before I have to guess. What I do not want is another agreeable afternoon. And if the answer is no, say no at the table. I promise I will take it well.