Three conversations ended because I would not drive an hour to say this
- Looking for
- somebody nearby to talk to first, and honestly nothing more than that yet
- Experience
- None. Eight months on here, three conversations, no meetings.
- Around
- the Valley, Los Angeles
Each of the three was patient and each of them eventually asked the same reasonable question, which was when we were going to meet. And each time I could not make myself agree to spend two hours on a road in order to sit opposite an experienced person and admit that I do not know what I am. It is not the driving. It is that the drive makes it a commitment and I am not there yet.
Thirty eight, the Valley, and I have had this on my phone for eight months without doing anything with it.
What I know about myself is small but it is not nothing. I want to be told what to do in a way that is deliberate rather than casual. I do not want pain, or at least I do not think I do, and I am aware that a person who has not tried anything is not a reliable witness about themselves.
So I am asking for something that will sound very modest. Somebody near me, experienced, willing to talk for a while and then meet for an hour in daylight, close enough that the meeting is not a production.
Not looking to be taught in exchange for anything. Not looking to be told that everybody feels this way at the start, because the three of them said that and it did not help. And not looking to be hurried.