Log In Sign Up

The board · Los Angeles · Curious

Forty, and this is only the second time I have said any of this

Posted as second_time_saying_it, 13 September 2026

Looking for
somebody unhurried who does not find lateness remarkable
Experience
None. One conversation, two years ago, and then nothing.
Around
the Westside, Los Angeles

The first time was two years ago, to somebody I met on here, at eleven at night, in a burst, after about six weeks of circling it. He was kind about it and then he disappeared, which I do not hold against him. But I did not open the app again for a year and a half, and I have spent the time since working out whether the silence afterwards was about him or about me.

Forty, the Westside, divorced three years, no experience of any of this beyond that one conversation.

So this is the second time and I am doing it in public and in daylight, which feels considerably better. What I want, as far as I can put it: to be under somebody's authority in an ordinary, continuing way. Rules about how I spend my time. Somebody who notices whether I have done what I said I would.

I am not fragile about it and I am not asking to be handled gently. I am asking for somebody who does not treat a person arriving at forty as either tragic or fascinating.

Not looking for a fast answer to whether this is really what I want. Not looking for a mentor with conditions attached. And not looking for anybody who wants to be told the whole story before they have said anything about themselves.

Reply to this post Replies go through your account, not this page. Nothing you send is published here.

What to have sorted before you reply

If this one reads like your own head rather than somebody to answer, the tactics can wait. These three all happen before there is a first match to get wrong.

Also in Los Angeles

Every post in Los Angeles →

Reading is free. Answering needs an account.

Put one of your own where people near you will read it, and answer the ones already up.

Open the app Already have an account? Log in