Forty, and this is only the second time I have said any of this
- Looking for
- somebody unhurried who does not find lateness remarkable
- Experience
- None. One conversation, two years ago, and then nothing.
- Around
- the Westside, Los Angeles
The first time was two years ago, to somebody I met on here, at eleven at night, in a burst, after about six weeks of circling it. He was kind about it and then he disappeared, which I do not hold against him. But I did not open the app again for a year and a half, and I have spent the time since working out whether the silence afterwards was about him or about me.
Forty, the Westside, divorced three years, no experience of any of this beyond that one conversation.
So this is the second time and I am doing it in public and in daylight, which feels considerably better. What I want, as far as I can put it: to be under somebody's authority in an ordinary, continuing way. Rules about how I spend my time. Somebody who notices whether I have done what I said I would.
I am not fragile about it and I am not asking to be handled gently. I am asking for somebody who does not treat a person arriving at forty as either tragic or fascinating.
Not looking for a fast answer to whether this is really what I want. Not looking for a mentor with conditions attached. And not looking for anybody who wants to be told the whole story before they have said anything about themselves.