My worry is that I am a tourist and will waste somebody's year
- Looking for
- somebody experienced who can tell the difference before I do
- Experience
- None. Nine months here and a fear of taking up somebody's time.
- Around
- downtown, Los Angeles
Here is the thing that stops me writing to people. I do not know whether I actually want this or whether I like reading about it, and those two look identical from the inside. If it is the second, then somebody experienced spends four months on me and I quietly evaporate, which is exactly the story I have read on this board about twenty times, always told by the person left behind.
Thirty three, downtown, nine months on here, no experience whatsoever.
I am not asking to be reassured. I am asking to talk to somebody who has seen both kinds of beginner and can tell me what the difference looks like from where they stand, because I cannot see it from here and waiting for certainty on my own has clearly not worked.
If it turns out I am serious, what I want is structure and being answerable, ongoing, nothing dramatic. If it turns out I am not, I would rather find that out in a conversation than after somebody has invested a season in me.
Not looking to be talked into anything so that the question is settled. Not looking for somebody who finds the uncertainty appealing in itself. And not looking to be told to just try it, which is advice I have had four times and cannot act on.