Nobody crosses the river for a first meeting, so I stopped asking
- Looking for
- a dominant on my own side who will say so plainly
- Experience
- Five years, two dynamics, one of them a year and a half.
- Around
- the south east, London
The app has never heard of the river and everybody using it has. I spent about eighteen months writing to people who were, by the number on the card, closer to me than my own dentist, and who turned out to live on the far side of a crossing that adds fifty minutes to any evening. Not one of those conversations became a second meeting. Not one.
Thirty seven, the south east, submissive, five years in, two arrangements with the longer one running eighteen months.
So my filter is now a geographical one rather than a numerical one and I have written it into the top of everything: my side, or somebody who has genuinely done the journey enough times to know what they are agreeing to. It has cut the number of people I speak to by about two thirds and improved every single thing about the experience.
What I want is a weekly dynamic with structure that carries through the days between. Rules I report on. A dominant who is specific about what is expected rather than atmospheric about it.
Not looking for anybody who is going to tell me the crossing is fine, because everybody says that in May and nobody means it in November. Not looking for a correspondence with somebody I will never manage to be in a room with. And not looking to do all of the travelling in the name of being easy going.