Where would any of this actually happen? I now ask in message two
- Looking for
- somebody who has an honest answer to a practical question
- Experience
- Six years, two dynamics, both conducted in improbable circumstances.
- Around
- north of the river, London
In this city almost nobody has anywhere. I share a flat with two people who are always in it. Most of the people I have talked to are in the same position or worse, and yet the question of where a dynamic would physically take place is one that everybody carefully avoids for about three weeks, until it arrives as a disappointment rather than a fact.
Thirty three, north of the river, submissive, six years in, two arrangements both of which were logistically absurd and one of which was very good anyway.
So I ask in the second message now. Not in a demanding way. Just: what does this look like in practice for you, given where we both live. About half of people are visibly relieved to be asked. The other half discover in that moment that they had not thought about it at all, which is itself the answer.
None of this is the interesting part of what I want, which is structure, a weekly rhythm, standing expectations and somebody who checks. But the interesting part cannot survive without the boring part, and I have watched two good things die of it.
Not looking for anybody who thinks logistics are unromantic. Not looking for somebody who will suggest we work it out later, four times. And not looking for anything that depends on my flatmates being away.