First meetings with me last forty minutes and I say so beforehand
- Looking for
- a submissive who will treat a short first meeting as good news
- Experience
- Eight years, two dynamics, both of them slow and both of them long.
- Around
- the east, London
Forty minutes, daytime, somewhere public, agreed in advance and stated plainly so that nobody is left wondering what it means when I stand up. It removes almost everything that makes a first meeting unpleasant. Nobody is trapped, nobody is performing endurance, and neither of us has to invent a reason to leave. Twice somebody has been visibly relieved when I explained it, and both of those became arrangements.
Forty three, the east, dominant, eight years in, two arrangements with the longer running five years.
The other reason is that forty minutes is enough. I can tell whether I want a second meeting in about ten, and the remaining thirty are for the other person to decide the same thing about me without an audience of one waiting expectantly.
What I run afterwards is unhurried and structured. Agreed expectations, a fixed evening, contact and small obligations through the week, and a conversation every few months about what needs changing.
Not looking for anybody who wants the first meeting to be an occasion. Not looking for somebody who reads a short meeting as disinterest, which is why it is in the post rather than sprung on the day. And not looking for a person who cannot bear to hear a plain no at the end of it, because sometimes that is what the forty minutes is for.